TL TR

· Basic services
· Editing samples
· Writing samples
· Design services
· FREE sample edit
· Cost estimate
· Rates
· Links

Google search
RoofGroup search

This is a secure site
protected by GeoTrust

write.about.it blog

nav Subscribe in a reader

512.341.0877

support@roofgroup.net

 

 

 

 

BL BR

editing samples...

editing a professional journal | editing business writing | editing creative writing | editing a speech




editing a professional journal article

Original draft was submitted for publication in an international journal for risk managers with operations in the USA. Topic: Workers' Compensation

Original/80 words

Edited/61 words

In each state, all enterprises are divided for rating purposes into groups or classes based on industry, trade, service, process, etc. Actually, employers are grouped into about 500 separate insurance classes. Similar organizations are assigned to the same group or classification, each with its own class code number. (Bakeries, for example, have the code number 2003; clothing manufacturers, 2501 ; etc.) In any given state the manual rate -per $100 of payroll- applies identically to all risks within the class. In each state commercial organizations are grouped into about 500 insurance classes for rating purposes. Organizations with common operating characteristics are assigned the same classification code. (Bakeries, for example, are 2003; clothing manufacturers, 2501; etc.) The manual rate per $100 of payroll applies identically to all risks within the class in a particular state.

Editing you can
expect to see
In each state, all enterprises are divided for rating purposes into groups or classes based on industry, trade, service, process, etc. Actually, employers commercial organizations are grouped into about 500 separate insurance classes for rating purposes. Similar oOrganizations with common operating characteristics are assigned to the same group or classification, each with its own class code number. (Bakeries, for example, have the code number are 2003; clothing manufacturers, 2501; etc.) In any given state tThe manual rate -per $100 of payroll- applies identically to all risks within the class in a particular state.

Edit a writing sample FREE

I want an estimate

editing business writing -- substantive

Original draft was submitted for distribution to stakeholders and political action committee contributors

Original/ 110 words

Edited/ 101 words


Based on the upcoming 2005 Session and issues we have outlined a summary public relations plan to support an overall lobbying campaign to help educate the key influencers about us, build relationships and increase overall visibility.  We propose a consistent media and industry influencer outreach as a parallel campaign to a planned lobbying program.

Threats

Lack of understanding, among constituents, around key issues affecting the industry and ultimately the consumer.
Any misinformation communicated by large insurance companies or associated players about agents, national media angles and pending statewide issues. If not corrected, misperceptions are potentially damaging to the reputation of the organization and its agents, negatively impacting each member’s bottom-line.

 

Based on key issues slated for the 2005 Session, organization leadership has outlined a public relations plan to support the current lobbying campaign. Strategy includes reaching key legislative influencers to strengthen relationships and increase overall enterprise visibility. Additional muscle will derive from a media and industry influencer outreach progam.

Threats

A poor understanding of the industry will negatively impact legislation associated with key issues. Partial or misinformation from organizations associated with the industry must be countered with an aggressive first-step PR strategy. Failure to act will damage not only lobbying success, but also injure the reputation of both organization and industry.


Editing you can
expect to see

Based on the upcoming 2005 Session and issues we have outlined a summary public relations plan to support an overall lobbying campaign to help educate the key influencers about us, build relationships and increase overall visibility. key issues slated for the 2005 Session, organization leadership has outlined a public relations plan to support the current lobbying campaign. We propose a consistent media and industry influencer outreach as a parallel campaign to a planned lobbying program. Strategy includes reaching key legislative influencers to strengthen relationships and increase overall enterprise visibility. Additional muscle will derive from a media and industry influencer outreach progam.

Edit a writing sample FREE

I want an estimate

editing creative writing

Original was a book-length manuscript submitted as fiction prior to publisher submission.

Original Edited

I was headed for Syria and Damascus.  It seemed like such a logical step from my experience in Egypt.  My excitement grew as I imagined the possibilities and I hoped Mohammad had received my telex and would be waiting at the airport as he had promised a week earlier.

Faithful to his word, Mohammad met me exactly as planned.  My emotions welled as we greeted each other.  With cursory greetings we grabbed my bags and headed for his car.  As we drove out of the airport toward the city on the modern freeway my mind wasn’t on Islam or Mohammad, I was preoccupied on which road St. Paul might have ridden in on.

Mohammad must have been reading my thoughts because shortly into our drive he said, “You know, my country isn’t only Islamic, there are many Christian sites here too. 

Damascus is the apostle Paul’s country.”  Mohammad obviously  knew something about Christianity, which surprised me after his seeming disinterest in Egypt.  This was a different Mohammad, I thought.  

I was nevertheless pleased by his comments, they told me Mohammad had let down his guard and was going to allow me further entry into his world.

Day broke easy. Thin clouds had pushed their way into the northeast corner of Africa to soften the customary blast of sun.

It was a good sign to have followed the surprisingly simple process of preparing the paperwork necessary to travel from Cairo to Damascus.

The visa was arranged with unusual speed; the flight was booked as though standard procedure. Too easy, I thought. Where exactly did Mohammed fit, in this labyrinthine part of the world?

I was uncomfortable with the surge of anticipation at seeing Mohammed. I hoped he had received my telex and would be waiting at the airport as promised barely a week before.

Finally the plane touched down. No sooner was I through the doors just beyond customs, when I heard my name. I swung toward the sound and saw Mohammed smiling broadly and waving excitedly. I waved back, spun on my heal and headed for him.

Jovial as ever and still carrying his strand of black prayer beads in his right hand, Mohammed rushed toward me.

“Welcome,” he said, shaking my hand. Welcome. You are here.” English with a strong Arabic accent. I could feel the pressure build behind my eyes as I searched for a way to respond to his emotional greeting.


Editing you can
expect to see

I was headed for Syria and Damascus.  It seemed like such a logical step from my experience in Egypt.  My excitement grew as I imagined the possibilities and I hoped Mohammad had received my telex and would be waiting at the airport as he had promised a week earlier.
Faithful to his word, Mohammad met me exactly as planned,. 

Day broke easy. Thin clouds had pushed their way into the northeast corner of Africa to soften the customary blast of sun.

It was a good sign to have follow the surprisingly simple process of preparing the paperwork necessary to travel from Cairo to Damascus.

The visa was arranged with unusual speed; the flight was booked as though standard procedure. Too easy, I thought. Where exactly did Mohammed fit, in this labyrinthine part of the world?

I was uncomfortable with the surge of anticipation at seeing Mohammed. I hoped he had received my telex and would be waiting at the airport as promised barely a week before.

Finally the plane touched down. No sooner was I through the doors just beyond customs, when I heard my name.


Edit a writing sample FREE

I want an estimate



editing a speech

Original written for delivery before an MLF Forum at the Commonwealth Club of California.

Original Edited

Thank you. I consider it a real privilege to be here this afternoon especially under such a rare fog-free sky in this, Herb Caen's "Baghdad by the Bay," or what most of us call, simply, "The City."

I arrived a little early which gave me a few minutes to visit with some of you beforehand. As I moved around, I was struck by the wide diversity of businesses represented by the Commonwealth Club. For instance, Adnan over there is in textiles. Greg back there is opening a new super-store in the south Bay. Richard here tells me his agency, meanwhile, has taken on an entire new product line.

As I look around the room, I see a truly broad cross section of prosperous and powerful business leaders, clearly confident from success in the 80s; poised for challenge in the 90s.

And yet, not so curiously, if you pause a moment to consider it, we are all in the same business really. That is the business of service. At its most basic level, our job . . .the job of each and every one of us, at the very heart of what we do, is to serve our customers. Whether it's retail, manufacturing, finance, advertising, whatever, the common denominator is service.

Thank you. It's a privilege to be here this afternoon, especially on such a rare fog-free day in this, Herb Caen's "Baghdad by the Bay."

I arrived a little early and as I moved around, I was struck by the wide diversity of businesses represented here at the Commonwealth Club. For instance, Adnan over there is in textiles. Greg back there is opening a new super-store. Richard here tells me his agency, meanwhile, has taken on an entire new product line.

As I look around, I see a truly broad cross section of prosperous and powerful business leaders, clearly confident from success in the 80s; poised for challenge in the 90s.

And yet, not so curiously, if you pause a moment to consider it, we are all in the same business, really. That is the business of service. At its most basic, our job . . .the job of each and every one of us, at the very heart of what we do, is to serve our customers.

Whether it's retail, manufacturing, finance, advertising, whatever, the common denominator for all of us is service – service focused squarely on customer satisfaction.


Editing you can
expect to see

Thank you. I consider it a real It's a privilege to be here this afternoon, especially under on such a rare fog-free sky day in this, Herb Caen's "Baghdad by the Bay,." or what most of us call, simply, "The City."

I arrived a little early which gave me a few minutes to visit with some of you beforehand. and Aas I moved around, I was struck by the wide diversity of businesses represented by here at the Commonwealth Club.


Edit a writing sample FREE

I want an estimate


© 2008 The RoofGroup. All rights reserved.